15 Signs You’re a Nail Polish Addict
When does your love of nail polish turn into a full scale nail varnish addiction…
Well here’s 15 tell tale signs written by an NPA (nail polish addict) that will confirm your suspicions.
- You have more nail polish than friends. Let’s face it, those little magic bottles of colour ARE your real friends. For one thing you can remember all their names unlike..um…
- You abuse the snooze button on your alarm and regularly fail to get up in time for work, but will easily leap up before your alarm at 3am to catch a restock for a limited edition purple holo with iridescent flakies. #priorities
- You often buy a nail polish just because of the name. You hate sludgy browns but it’s called ‘ Just Look at the Flowers Lizzie’. I mean come on! You must own it. Even if you’ve only watched The Walking Dead from behind a cushion and have no idea who Lizzie might actually be…
- You have searched google for five hours for a dupe of the nail polish the fictional cartoon character Ursula is wearing in The Little Mermaid. Oh…you haven’t? Just me then…
- A stranger gushes about your nail polish and asks what it is and you gush back “Oh this is Frank-n-Furter from the 2014 Picture Polish Rocky Horror Collection. Obviously I have 2 back ups!” You ask them what polish they are wearing and they shrug and reply: “pink something?”
- You have, on more than one occasion, held up a line of traffic at the lights because you glanced down at your nails and there was DIRECT SUNLIGHT on the HOLO! Quit honking your horns people, the green light will come around again but direct sunlight is rare…
- You consider pulling a sickie and leaving work early because your nail polish has chipped. And well…you just can’t.
- You have no idea what colour your natural nails used to be. And quite frankly you don’t care because who can see them under a glorious neon pink?
- You have over 50 blue polishes. They are all completely unique and essential to your collection. And while we’re talking about it, you need more blue polish.
- You have experienced the gnawing dilemma of NEEDING to change your manicure again, half an hour after painting it, because oh my gosh that new green you just bought is crying out to be worn and have its moment of glory.
- You have considered borrowing your boyfriend’s chisel because you didn’t apply peel off base coat before wearing glitter polish, and now that said glitter has taken up permanent residence on your nails and is laughing at your cotton ball and polish remover attempts. You may have to walk around until the end of all time with wispy bits of cotton attached to the end of your nails. Possibly not the look you were hoping for.
- You will ALWAYS have to pee the very moment you have just painted your nails. Always.
- Your nuggle (non naily) friends will never be as excited about your manicure as they really ought to be. Even when you helpfully keep trying to draw their attention to it by pointing at non existent objects in the distance or waving your hand directly in their face. Look, they probably don’t even understand the difference between linear and scatter holo. Stick with the ‘real’ friends you’ve ‘met’ in nail polish Facebook groups and Instagram. Now THEY know a good holo multichrome multiflakie when they see one.
- You will stop referring to your hands as right and left. Forthwith they are known as Swatch Hand : the one that is always immaculately painted and you’ve taken 500 photos of, so people you’ve never met on social media can gasp at the magnificence of your manicure; and your Cinderella hand aka Cindy, which looks like it’s never met a nail file, is rarely painted, and never gets to go to the ball.
- You may own every colour known to man and your bank balance says: “NO MORE POLISH!” but then Picture Polish brings out a new collection…sigh. You are powerless. Dry toast for dinner sounds great, right..?
A little more about your Picture Polish Writer…
Claire lives on the beautiful southwest coast of England, on a constant but currently fruitless search for Ross Poldark. She is also an aspiring writer and supermodel. She suspects she is more likely to succeed in becoming a writer. While awaiting the global stardom that will surely come, she has made it her selfless mission to acquire all the Picture Polishes ever made. She may soon have to buy another house in which to store them.
Thanks for the reality check Claire. The Girls xox